We have heard many people say that don’t pursue a guy, as woman, especially Chinese women, we sort of understanding it before a guy showing affection towards us even if we really like the guy. But once a guy dined and wined us with great affection a couple of times, we had a taste of really good experience, we want more of it. If the guy starts withdrawing at this phase, we start becoming the pursuer of this relationship, and we even become aggressive. And then the guy becomes totally unavailable, even disappears, then we feel really sad, depressed, on the other hand, we become really angry that why the hell he did such un-gentleman behavior on us, beneath the depression, sadness, and anger, is a layer of emotion shame. The mixed emotions feel really suck, it takes weeks and months to move on gradually from such a traumatic experience.
Does moving on from a heartbroken need a reason or a closure? Yes, lots of us need a reason or a closure.
But today I think the end of relationship is like death, if you are DEAD you are DEAD, the “I” stopped, you would not know how the hell you were dead, and why the hell you were dead, and since it ended, when you are thinking the how and the why it ended, you are just recreating the past in the present, it doesn’t help. Why not let the “I” and “the past” die, and recreate your new life experience?
Here are 3 ways to make him think it is his idea to pursue you when you go dating again!
1) Enjoy yourself by wearing really sexy when you are with him!
This is a principle of polarizing. Straight masculine man will like straight feminine woman. Femininity is an expression of energy that is opposite to the masculinity. Men are very visual although they don’t see as many colors as we do, so when you go dating with new guy, wear something really feminine and sexy in your own taste to highlight your natural curve and make yourself feel sensual and sexy, like set-underwear, lace skirt, high heels, keep your dark straight Asian hair neat and shining, and talk softly in his presence.
Above all, really enjoy your sensuality by pleasing your own sense. Pleasing your own eyes and skins by wearing beautiful sexy and comfortable clothes, pleasing your olfactory sensation by wearing exotic perfume, pleasing your own tongue by kissing some inches of his neck or tasting a cake mindfully, pleasing your own ear by choosing nice music and soft tone to speak, pleasing your own tongue to order food and drinks that you really want to enjoy…
The point is when you are enjoying yourself and indulging your sense intuitively, you are sensual and confident! And majority of straight man love sensual and confident woman.
2) Enjoy him by being curious on him when you are with him!
If you are curious in pleasing yourself, you are naturally curious in exploring the guy you are seeing as well.
Curiosity is intelligence. Asking questions is being curious.
When you are curious on a guy, you can ask questions to know him more. If he said something (interesting), ask why he said that or why is that, ask more why how and what questions, so the guy can reveal more and deeper thoughts and motivation of him. In the meanwhile, a guy would feel that you are actually interested in his opinion and his life when you ask him questions, and think that you are intelligent when you ask him such why, how, and what questions.
When you are curious, you are also creative. So your natural playful-self will come out when you are enjoying spending time with the guy.
When you are curious, your mind is in a state of openness, the guy would not feel being judged, thus feel safe, in return he would also be in state of openness with you. Two open minds have conversation and play together, I am sure the time will be so good.
Being curious on man builds connection with man, and inspire man’s commitment towards you. I think curiosity, connection and commitment are 3 aspects of one thing: exploring and knowing the guy.
3) Live your life, and don’t wait him to make you happy!
When the guy is not around you, I understand that you would feel a sense of emptiness sometimes if you have built such a close connection with him, because I have been there, so I understand you.
But if you wait for him to make you feel fulfilled and happy, he would feel obliged and pressured. And if you make him feel guilty by complaining him that he doesn’t give you time, he would feel like a bad person, and feel incapable of making you happy, thus he would withdraw more from you.
So my suggestion is: Don’t postpone your life by waiting him to make you happy. You are an adult, you are resourceful and creative, create and live your life, make yourself feel fulfilled and happy by doing what you love or whatever it is that making you happy.
Basically, enjoy yourself, express your feminine self, explore another human being with curiosity, play with him, and receive whatever he wants to give you if you want to, live your life with passion. Don’t postpone your life for anybody who doesn’t cherish you and your value, besides you are really the most valuable person and the most important person for yourself in this life.
I believe that If you practice these 3 ways in your dating life, you would be sexy, confident, passionate, energetic, sensual, playful, and free, and you are not trying to manipulating nor clawing on him. When a man is dating you, he would feel that it is his idea to pursue you, and thus will feel comfortable to work on you more and more to make you happy if he really likes you. For the guy who doesn’t like you for who you are, let him go, you don’t want a man who doesn’t want you for who you are.
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed my blog just like I enjoyed writing it for you! And I hope it inspired you! Thanks for taking time to read this blog, take care, live authentically and love unconditionally!