What does it mean that a woman trusts a man? It means that she believes that he will put her best interests in heart, and will make the best decision for her and her wellbeing. This kind of trust feels good.
But can we be 100% sure that a man will always do that for his woman from the past to future? We cannot guarantee that. Sometimes we cannot even make the best decision for ourselves in hindsight.
This sounds terrible painful that we cannot trust man nor even ourselves. So how to navigate our dating life then? Here are some tips to assist you on how to trust man again.
1) We can trust our gut.
We don’t know where our decision came from. Brain scientist says that it comes from instinct, gut, unconscious mind. And the unconsciousness is what we don’t know about what we don’t know. The unconsciousness controls the functionality of our organic body, such as growing hair, metabolism, blood circling, our habits etc. Since our body is functioning daily when we are alive, and proved to us its stability, so it means that we can trust our body, our unconscious, our instinct, and our gut.
2) We don’t trust ourselves when we ignore our gut, and get caught up in our inner chatting.
Often the reason why a woman cannot trust herself is because she doesn’t listen to her instinct, instead she is caught up with the inner chatting of her awareness mind (conscious mind).
3) Take the awareness mind for what it is.
a) The awareness mind is a trouble shooting system,
It makes sure we can detect trouble, danger, so that we can get rid of them or fight with them, so that we can survive, and live long enough.
b) The awareness mind is linear thinking, and constructs the past and the future.
If a woman is hurt heavily by a man in the past, her awareness mind will project the past pain into the future on same man or new man she might be seeing. It is reasonable to predict that same man would hurt her again, but predicting another man would hurt her for sure again might be untrue.
c) The awareness mind also can filter information, is the gateman of our unconscious mind.
Unconscious mind creates reality, so basically the awareness mind is the gateman of our reality.
4) The awareness mind has to be good at discernment.
Since the awareness mind is a gateman, it has to be good at discernment.
If we have to discern in terms of looking for a partner or even to survive, I think a woman can set standards for qualifying right man with common sense. For example, qualify a man who has similar core values as her, qualify a man based on his behaviors to see whether he demonstrated consistent affection towards her or not.
5) Key of letting go: Each decision is the right decision.
Because there is only present moment, yesterday and tomorrow are just concepts in our mind, so every decision is the best decision and right decision at each moment when a decision is made. Seeing this perspective makes sure we don’t get caught in our linear mind to the degree that we cannot move on from trauma of the past and miss our present moment too much.
In a nutshell, you have 3 great power!
1) You can trust your instinct.
2) You can set standards for qualifying man as your intimate partner.
3) You are capable of making new decision.
It is understandable that we fear future because we were hurt in the past, but after all the past and the future are different, and we should not let our past pain get in our own way of our life. If you let your past pain get in your own way, it is okay, change from now on.